I almost got myself fired twice in as many days… I had to ask myself a question today. It’s the same question my manager asked me yesterday, “have [I] abandoned the job?” I have been using my sick days consecutively this week,… To point where he felt the need to ask. 

I told him no, I’m just “going through something” and that I will be in tomorrow, in reference to Friday, March 11th, 2022. 

I wake up at 4:50AM and the first thing I do is call in late. I KNOW I can make it on time and I call to say I’m going to be 25 minutes late. 

On my commute I get stopped for… I like to call it “protest-by-theft”(not paying the subway fare) I’m not beligerent or disrespectful but I am short with them to the point where it can be taken as rude. Little tit for tats, they wanted me to know they had authority. I’m letting them know I have a finite amount of respect for that authority. I thank them for the ticket and wish them a safe day, Officers Haynes and Sanchez, good guys. 

From here, I get to work and a coworker who has a habit of being passive aggressive towards me is there “prepping” his “stops.” The type to find a way to accidentally-on-purpose drops things around or possibly on you. We deliver groceries on foot in Manhattan, but we unload a  truck beforehand; cases, glass bottles, entire handtrucks. Today he decided to slams a hand truck in my direction for no apparent reason, then he tells me one of my “stops” is on it. It isn’t. That little petty act was the straw that broke the fucking camels back. He walks away and I’m upset but I’m going to let it go, then I change my mind and I run four blocks down, catch up with him and tell him, that I come in peace but I want him to know he acts passive aggressively towards me and I don’t know why, I don’t feel as though I provoke that kind of behavior. Then I tell him, I quote myself, “as far as my estimation of you, I think you are a bitch.” I walk away. I drop off my first delivery and get back to the truck and get told they want me to report to the base, for the incident.

It was on this trip I started asking myself the question, “have I abandoned this job?;” I wasn’t sure. But what I was sure of, at least in my mind, whatever they have planned to say to me is going to be what it is. Meaning, if they are going to fire me, they’ve made that decision already. It’s just a matter of telling me.  So… I’m going to take my time about going up to the base.

I get up there and it was painless. I didn’t even get a reprimand. I filled out a statement saying EXACTLY what happened MINUS the “bitch”-part… I’m not a dummy. Then leave.

I wasn’t sure when I left, but as I’m writing this the answer to the question; “have I abandoned this job?” Is most definitely “yes.” I understand that I need to make money to live so the only option?… Start peddling pictures of my feet on Only fans! That’s a joke… I got decent feet though, just saying. I need to start looking for different ways to make money. Be that finding a new job, freelance photography or something. It’s time for a drastic change. I will follow up with this idea in upcoming posts.

Today’s silver lining though, I made a very concious decision to be in control of me. Some may say going tit-for-tat with police officers, and calling my co-workers a bitch isn’t much control at all, but that’s where we’ll have to disagree. I believe people will do what they think they can get away with. And if you allow them, they will take advantage; taking your silence as a form of approval. I’m not looking to start fights or be confrontational, and I am more than willing to compromise when possible, but if it comes to what I believe I don’t fear nor mind confrontation. 

Anyway, I’m thinking out loud. I have a meal prepping entry I’m trying to have up a little later. ¡Executives, Mañana! 🖤🗽✌🏾

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