BLOGGING AND BLOGGING ABOUT BUILDING MY BLOG, LIFE, AND CAREER
A Cluttered Hard Drive…
Executives, I just deleted EVERYTHING!… Before I proceed, I know what I’m about to say is blaspheme to many artists, but I considered it a necessary evil. I’ve spoken, two posts back, about a simplified approach to my creative process. I’ve recently cleaned my room, bear with me, this isn’t random… I’ve recently cleaned my room and before doing so I “made a rule.” ANYTHING that I haven’t used in a week I was THROWING AWAY! Logic being if I haven’t used it in a week, chances are I haven’t used it the week before, which was the case 90% of the time. Using that same logic, if I hadn’t used it in two weeks, chances are I wouldn’t be using it anytime soon, BASURA! They say an uncluttered room is an uncluttered mind and I felt that immediately.
I’ve talked about not monetizing partially because I don’t want to treat this like a business, but that’s exactly what ended up happening. I would get into the groove of things and BOOM!; I’m second guessing how people will receive what I’m writing and in turn start another project or I just shutdown all together, which is pretty much what has happened.
I’ve been “working” a lot but the thing is, I find my mind foggy. On top of that, I sit down to edit footage and have to navigate through hundreds of files which in turn contained thousands of images and videos. My head felt like it was about to explode… So, BASURA! I’ve deleted EVERY SINGLE photo and video! I still plan on uploading content about my life, I just need a blank slate, I feel.
Ka(i) Hate My Life
I originally had this post about how much I hate my life, not “living” itself, but the lifestyle I lead. Going to work and dealing with “jerks” and “stupid people.” Pretty much, I’m so great and EVERYONE ELSE IS SHIT! I thought this was so witty and clever.
Frankly, I wrote about a paragraph and walked away from it. “I’ll come back in an hour and read it with ‘fresh eyes’ and take it from there.” As I’m reading the first couple sentences I immediately stop. “This man is an asshole!;” I think to myself, ABOUT MYSELF!
The thing I noticed was that I was approaching my day with the mentality, “I hate my life” and without realizing it, I made a conscious decision to have a bad day.
I’m capturing footage of things I consider a nuisance, I’m recording myself in the park after having an argument at work and “shitting” on my coworker… I found myself not wanting to go through footage. I’m just revisiting and reliving a negative experience, while negatively reflecting on it.
A couple days back, my “stinking thinking” led to an actual fist fight between me and a coworker. THIS ISN’T GOING TO WORK!
Kai’s Silver Lining
The truth is, my life isn’t bad. I like how I live and I honestly think better things are in my future. I get frustrated like anyone else, but I live genuinely and honest to who I am. It’s taken me a long time to reach a place where I am today. I respect and more importantly I LOVE MYSELF!
I own four pairs of shoes. 3 out of the 4 have noticeable holes and scuffs all over, but the 4th pair are nice and go well with pretty much everything I wear.
My “everyday“ windbreaker has tears along the right sleeve, but it keeps the weather off my back.
I eat eggs and oats for breakfast, chicken or ground beef with rice for almost every meal after, day-in, day-out. It isn’t fancy but I have a home cooked meal every day.
WHAT MORE DO I NEED TO SURVIVE?
I have goals and ambitions:
- Build A Relationship With My Son
- Move Out Of My “Room”
- Start Putting Out Quality Content Consistently
ALL OF THESE THINGS, I BELIEVE ARE WITHIN MY REACH AND TIE INTO THE NEXT POINT…
SO, GOING FORWARD I still plan on documenting my life but not necessarily every minute detail of every day. 1)It’s self-indulgent 2)My life is really boring!
LIFE, ARTISTIC, LOGISTIC I will be categorizing my posts by one of these 3 “labels” if you will.
LIFE- These will be my most self-indulgent or maybe self-absorbed is a better word, posts about things I’m dealing with, random thoughts I have,“non-creative-stuff”, pretty much my “shoot-the-shit” thread.
**And FOOD STUFF!!! Was proof-reading before uploading, I’m a huge foodie so… I will be sharing that stuff as well.
ARTISTIC- This will be the film essays, album impressions(“review,” sounds too critical), music discussions. Poems and Lyrics; my own and those of others. Literature and Audiobooks I’ve either finished or plan on starting. This will also be where I make my Music, Short-Films, Screenplays available.
LOGISTIC- These posts will focus on what I am doing to “push” the Blog and “The 110 Executive” Brand forward. All the background stuff that actually makes EVERYTHING MOVE.
Executives, why do we fall?… So we can learn to pick ourselves up! Batman’s Daddy said that. The man died in an alley, behind an opera house. Do what you will with that information.
PS: In regards to videos, I’m dropping that completely! IF I UPLOAD/EMBED A VIDEO it’s because convenience allows. I’m confident that this will all lead to a better quality blog!
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. – Samuel Beckett